He Said WHAT?!

First of all, the disclaimers:

Don't keep reading this if you are easily offended by puerile discussions of bodliy functions or discharges. I, for one, think they're hilarious.

Secondly, don't read this if you're a big fan of Dave Ramsey and his financial ministry. I'm looking at you, 2 Retire at 50 Dude.

There, consider yourself warned. If you don't want to read this, just click on one of my other posts or go look at Neil Orne's puppies or something. Here, I'll make it easy for you.

Ok, so I'm flipping around the radio yesterday and I hear the familiar voice of Dave Ramsey. I'm always good for some self-righteous preaching and enjoy hearing the same advice over and over and over again. Who doesn't like hearing the plights of people who are much worse off than you are?

But this was different. Dave's monotonous voice jerked me to attention when he said, "Listeners, I want to talk to you about how to protect your most important asset...urine cum."

"Urine cum?" What the hell is that? My best guess is that it's the brackish substance that comes out between sex and your first pee after sex. I know that's nasty, but I'm not the one talking about it on the radio.

Ramsey kept blathering on about urine cum for awhile before I finally realized that he was talking about "your income." It's not my fault, I swear. That's how he pronounced it and that's how I heard it.

But I guess I should have figured out that there's no reason why anybody would want to insure that stuff...

You were warned.