A Call to Arms!

Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to give away free tickets to the Nashville Gridiron Show presented by the Society of Professional Journalists? Well none of my blogger friends took me up on the deal, so I gave the tickets away to somebody here where I work. They said it was a hilarious send-up of local politics and politicians and brought me a book of the lyrics.

Apparently, we should have been there. Here's what they sung to the tune of "God Bless the U.S.A.." (Feel free to hum along with your internal monologue as you read.)

"Well I found a home in cyberspace, with all the geeks and nerds.
Perfect outlet for the screwy thoughts I must put into words.
I'll out my little sister and rat on my old man
And they won't know who did it--catch me if you can...

I plan to stay anonymous so no one knows it's me
Or that I'm only fifteen with braces and ac-ne
`Cause no one ever listens to what I have to say
I'm up all night, I write and write...
I...blog...the...USA!

Watch out for those chat rooms if my user name you hit.
You'll think I'm twenty-seven and look just like Brad Pitt.
And if you dad's a Senator conservative of name
Don't go public with a six-can beer belt on your frame...

I plan to stay anonymous so no one knows it's me
Or that I'm only fifteen with braces and ac-ne
`Cause no one ever listens to what I have to say
I'm up all night, I write and write...
I...blog...the...USA!"

Personally, I'm not wearing my pajamas as I type this and my acne is clearing up quite nicely, thank you. (Shout out to B-Mo.) I'm calling Brittney and Kleinheider out as our most worthy representatives within the "mainstream media." Get out there and kick some ass for the blogosphere! If you need some bitter, cynical cowriters...I can think of a few. Maybe take a look over to the right side of this page. That's all I'm sayin'.