Like That's Ever Gonna Happen

I clicked through a Yahoo news story about an age discrimination suit being filed against the Grand Ole Opry, and I noticed the following option was offered to me on the side bar of the article.

NEWS ALERTS
alerts

Get an alert when there are new stories about:

* Stonewall Jackson
* Porter Wagoner

I believe they have me confused with my good friend Sista Smiff. (...who I can't believe I scooped on this story...)